The doctor and the day spa
and a book about depression
Welcome to my head - a round up of what I have been reading, thinking about and eating.
Reading
Sometimes when I am engrossed in a book I have to remind myself the author is not the character, or worse yet, the character doesn’t actually exist. So it was with Iris in Everyone I Know is Dying. I saw her so intimately, I related to her so closely I actually willed her to exist so that I could tell her that being in your twenties can be hard and difficult and it can feel like life will never be okay, but as someone who has been there, I want to tell her that (mostly) those feelings of anguish pass.
Iris is a character created by Emily Slapper and even if she wasn’t she wouldn’t need some 56-year old world-weary woman to tell her that things will get easier. But she touched me so much and I related to her so closely, I could feel her pain and I could understand her inner dialogue as if it was being spoken in my own brain. Perhaps I need to go back to 20-something Lana and tell her that she’ll make it, but instead I am thrusting this book into the hands of every young woman I know and trying to let them know that they are not alone.
Iris’s story is perhaps the best and most accurate description of depression that I have read in novel form. It might not be for everyone because there are strong themes of suicidal ideation and suffocating depression - but those who can handle it will be better for it.
I urge you to read it to understand the weight of depression and to appreciate Emily Slapper’s magnificent writing.
Thinking
This week I was lucky enough to accompany my husband on a golf trip. And if that didn’t sound elitist enough I decided to book myself a spa treatment while I was there. As a woman of a certain age I am more familiar with filling out questionnaires at the doctor than at a beauty parlour but it wasn’t until this week that I realised how many similarities there are. How honest do you need to be at a day spa? Do they really need to know what medication you take before they rub oil on your back? Can you lie to them about how much water you drink? Is it very bad when they ask what your main area of concern is and you try to answer climate change and the possibility of a third world war when they actually want to know if you are more worried about the hydration of your skin or the depth of your wrinkles?
It turns out that at this particular place they asked all the questions and they read some of the answers and gave me the most blissful hour of escape which would have been even better if I could just stop worrying that I had not answered all the questions properly.
I came across this TV review on Instagram and wanted to share it with everyone I know because I think Somebody Somewhere is one of the best TV shows I have ever watched and Inkoo Kang from The New Yorker describes it so perfectly. If you haven’t watched it yet you have a big treat in front of you.
My husband shared this video with me and I have watched it about 897 times. I dare you to watch it only once.
Eating
So happy to have an excuse for a humble brag and also safe in the knowledge that my son doesn’t know what Substack is, let alone that I write one, I will share with you that he got a distinction on his thesis. I honestly don’t really understand a thing about what he is studying and have had to learn the words ‘computational data science’ and reinforcement machine learning’ in order to tell people if they ask. What I do know is that whenever we need to celebrate, cake must be involved and so at his request to make him a “very moist chocolate cake”. I used this recipe with this icing. It was delicious and I wish I had taken a photo of it because it looked dare I say, almost perfect.
How clever am I to be able to brag about my son’s intelligence in the guise of talking about what I have been eating/cooking? Must be how he gets to be so smart 😉.
Thanks, as always, for reading to the end. If you celebrate anything at this time of year, be it Christmas or Chanukah or the fact that it is December, have an excellent week ahead. And, if this time of year is hard for you, remember that by this time next week it will be over.
Lana
How wonderful about your son! I’m going to watch your show when I’m on holidays in January and report back ❤️
Thanks for the recommendation of Somebody Somewhere. It could just be my new year binge.